Biggest Lessons from Completing My First Marathon
I’ve been chasing the big goal of completing a marathon for several years now. I finally took the leap to begin actually training for one at the start of this year. Here are a few things I learned…
Chasing big goals is important because it pushes you beyond comfort zones, inspires excellence, and can unlock your true potential. I’ve been chasing the big goal of completing a marathon for several years now. I finally took the leap to begin actually training for one at the start of this year.
Completing a marathon is a rare achievement, with fewer than 1% of people worldwide ever finishing one. According to the Marathon Handbook, globally, around 1.1–1.3 million runners complete a marathon each year, representing roughly 0.01–0.02% of the world population.
I am blessed to share that I am now a member of that elite group. The lessons that I am sharing with you here are not specific only to completing a marathon, but can serve as lessons for life in general.
Lesson #1 - Anticipation versus anxiety - knowing the difference between the two
Simply put (although, it can be quite complex), anxiety is a natural human response to stress or perceived danger. It's a feeling of unease, worry, or apprehension that can be caused by anything from a big upcoming event or a major change to something smaller like talking to a new person or an unexpected meeting scheduled by your manager.
There are so many different symptoms and feelings that anxiety may invoke, and they are truly unique to each individual. And the effects & consequences of those symptoms or feelings vary greatly from one individual to the next.
While training for the marathon, I came to the realization that I was using the word anxiety a little too much when describing my feelings. That thought crossed my mind when my niece asked my sister why I felt that way, hadn't I been training and preparing myself for the huge feat of completing the marathon. That question became a great awakening for me! I had been training myself adequately… physical training runs, cross training in the gym, learning which foods properly fuel me, staying hydrated, testing out proper gear for the run, etc. So, if not anxiety, what was it that I was feeling?!
I sat with that for a little while and came to the determination that I was actually feeling anticipation. To “anticipate” can be defined in a few different ways:
1: To expect or foresee: To realize or think about something before it happens.
2: To take action in advance: To prepare for or deal with a situation ahead of time.
3: To look forward to (with pleasure): To eagerly await an upcoming event.
Ahhh… these descriptions illustrated what I was feeling much more accurately. I was looking forward to (and putting in the work) to properly prepare for an exciting goal I’d set for myself!
Can you relate? Has there been a time in your life in which you mis-labeled an emotion you were feeling OR perhaps you allowed someone else to label you incorrectly! Hopefully, you cleared that up for yourself sooner than later, course-corrected, and moved forward more confidently.
Lesson #2 - Discipline and commitment - on a whole different level
There have been many, many situations in my life that required discipline and commitment, just not for this amount of time consecutively. I began my marathon training in January for the May race, and that was on the light side. While some folks train less than I did, there are many runners who engage in training for much longer… think a year versus my five months. But those five months of mine required my full attention. Even when I wasn’t running, I was planning the next run or just having finished a run… while being a wife and mother, running a business, leading workout classes, and being involved in the community. It’s a lot, but I set this goal. Not only that, I was determined to see it through, and I did.
How many times in your life have you started something and not finished? What stopped you?
That’s happened to me when the goal became a little more difficult than I thought it would be… maybe more time consuming than I was prepared for… wasn’t as fulfilling as I’d hoped… or, I just plain lost interest. But not this time. This was a goal I'd set several years ago, and I was now ready. “Ready” doesn’t mean that obstacles won’t arise, it just means that you are ready to tackle each obstacle head-on and keep moving forward!
Lesson #3 - Working through discomfort - physically and mentally
The past five months were uncomfortable. In this case, I knew there would be physical discomfort, aches and pains, sore feet, shin splints, achy shoulders, tiredness and fatigue… but, prior to beginning this journey, I didn't have a full grasp on just how uncomfortable it would be mentally.
Being in the grind, day after day, can take a toll. I'm the type of person who likes to stick to an established plan as closely as possible. When I feel myself veering off course, it causes me to stress. That stress then causes mental discomfort. And for me, maybe you as well, that can be harder to reconcile than physical discomfort.
When it's physical, popping a couple of painkillers, getting a massage, rubbing on some pain relief ointment, or wearing a compression sleeve, can provide an immediate source of relief. However, when it's mental, or even emotional, finding reprieve or a solution can be much more difficult. In this case, there are no quick fixes. And any options that fool you into thinking they are a quick fix will most likely not be long lasting.
So, when that discomfort arises, you have to remember your what(s) and why(s):
Why you started this particular journey
What you hope to gain from this experience
What is so important about completing this goal
Lesson #4 - Understanding that rest isn't laziness - it's recovery
Whew! This has been a long-standing life lesson that I am constantly working through. But when it comes to marathon training, it became less of an option and more mandatory. I mean, I tried it… I tried to push through when my mind and body showed signs of fatigue, but oftentimes, that backfired.
When we don't take the time to listen to the signals and cues our bodies are giving us, we run the risk of losing everything we've gained…
Falling short of the mark we have set for ourselves
Losing momentum
Injuring ourselves, literally or figuratively
In this case, figuratively injuring ourselves, means we do more harm than good. This can lead to setbacks that are impossible to recover from. Subsequently, a goal that you have set for yourself with the absolute best intentions, can be unfortunately sidelined, because you didn't pay attention to the signals and cues.
Taking a pause and resting does not mean you're lazy. It's actually just the opposite; it's smart and proactive. It provides the opportunity to recover, regroup, and reset. Imagine taking a rest and coming back even stronger with a realigned mindset, renewed spirit, and refreshed body.
The amount of time (and when) you rest is truly up to you. There are no set guidelines, it's personal and unique… just like you. Just remember: If you don't schedule a break, your body will take one for you, and it probably won't be at the most convenient time.
Whether you have your sights set on completing a marathon or not, I pray that you are able to take something away from the lessons I've learned during this season of my life. These lessons will stretch much further than my training and the actual 26.2 miles I ran and walked.
The life we live on earth from birth until death is biggest, most tedious, and most rewarding journey that we will ever embark upon. No matter what or whom you believe in to be your guiding light, I hope that you know, we all have a purpose to fulfill. I, personally, thank God for each day and every experience. The road is not easy. There will be bumps, setbacks, and even detours… When they occur, I hope and pray that we can all figure out how to re-route and keep moving forward.
Plan: Set Your Path Wisely
Pray: Seek Guidance and Peace
Execute: Take Diligent Action
Three Ways to Constructively Evaluate Your Year
We share constructive criticism and feedback with others, both professionally and personally. Why wouldn’t we take the same care to provide it for ourselves.
Maybe that title captured your attention…. hopefully in a good way. I was careful to stay positive, as what’s done is done. There’s no turning back this far into December. The best we can do is move forward celebrating our successes and making a plan for what did not work as well as we would have liked.
According to the Helpful Professor, Constructive Criticism is defined as “honest, genuine, well-meaning feedback that provides a critique of the strengths and weaknesses of something or someone. The criticism should be specific and offers clear suggestions on how to address deficiencies. Remarks should be clear and the suggestions provided should be feasible and reasonable.”
Let’s use the last few days of this month to effectively evaluate this past year! We share constructive criticism and feedback with others, both professionally and personally. Why wouldn’t we take the same care to provide it for ourselves? Here are a few of my tips on how we can do this:
Give yourself praise where praise is due!
Without even knowing the details of your life, I know for sure that you made it through. I mean… look at you, you’re here reading my thoughts and opinions with your full faculties intact (well, most of them at least, it is still a busy holiday season).
But seriously, YOU ARE HERE. So many others are not here and able to say the same thing! We cannot take our waking up this morning lightly. So, think about your successes… maybe helping your child make it through their first semester of school (kindergarten or college), celebrating a milestone birthday, getting married or having a child, ending a relationship that was no longer healthy for you, starting a new career or even ending a career path that no longer… WHATEVER your specifics may be, you are worthy of being celebrated. PLEASE do so!
Assess how you’ve handled adversity:
Honestly, this particular category will need some work for me personally in the coming year. When facing adversity, I tend to be a little too hard on myself and dwell on the negative aspect of a particular situation. That’s not helpful to me, nor the situation.
Something to think about: what does adversity encompass for you? It may include a change in your health, a new medical diagnosis, a loss of job or family, worry and stress, or even an overwhelming responsibility. Whatever if may be for you, think back on how you’ve handled it in the past or presently. Does that response serve you well? Or would you benefit from making adjustments moving forward? Sometimes, it simply takes a change of mindset, while other times it may require a full personal overhaul that includes adjusting your body’s physical and spiritual responses, in addition to the mental.
Get comfortable with asking for help:
Oof! This one is big, well bigger than you think… Sometimes you may choose to take on a task or an assignment alone, when getting some help would be much more beneficial and truly help lighten your load. This fact is true for the workplace, but most definitely in our personal lives as well.
Think about a time when you had a GRAND plan to accomplish something, but fell short of your own expectations OR maybe you didn’t even complete what you set out to do! YEESH! Turns out all you needed was a little assistance, but perhaps you were too proud, too shy, or too stubborn to ask for the help. DON’T let that be you in 2024. Let’s not allow an opportunity pass us by, simply because we didn’t get the help we needed. Remember, sometimes bigger wins can be attained through collaboration.
As I shared above, the best way we can move forward at this point is by celebrating our successes and making a plan for what did not work. Just remember to be kind to yourself… acknowledge what went well, assess how you handle adversity, and get comfy asking for help!
3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Setback
Whatever you may be going through at this time is only temporary. A “valley” that you may be experiencing at this moment won’t last forever, change is just ahead once you reach the top of the mountain…keep going. Keep the faith, you will…
A Setback Is a Setup For a Comeback!
Maybe you’ve heard that quote before….. a book, an inspirational poem, a sermon from your favorite pastor. I first heard it many years ago around this time of the year. A visiting pastor gave a sermon with that title during Resurrection Week revival at church. While I cannot remember the details he shared, the concept definitely stuck with me to this day.
Whatever you may be going through at this time is only temporary. A “valley” that you may be experiencing at this moment won’t last forever, change is just ahead once you reach the top of the mountain…keep going. Keep the faith, you will come out on the other side victoriously! But remember, it may take a little work on your own behalf... read below as I explain.
As if the past few years haven’t been enough with the pandemic, war, national civil turmoil, increased illnesses, lost jobs & lost lives, we still each have our own personal battles that we are dealing with. Sometimes it seems that just when one particular situation is under control, something else pops up to knock us off our square. Feels like you cannot catch a break! I mean, seriously, what did you do (and to whom did you do it) to bring on these disruptions to your well-oiled, well-planned out life??!!! Well, don’t take it personally, you’re not alone. It’s all part of this thing called life that we are truly blessed to be living. So, what do we do???…..
Ways to Bounce Back
Set clear & precise intentions
Decide what you want your comeback to look like, what it should entail. Pray about it, then take action. That may mean speaking the words out loud to a loved one, making a list, creating a vision board, or even recording yourself speaking your comeback intro fruition.
And be specific…I’m talking down to the nitty-gritty details. Include each step you will take, today, tonight, tomorrow, next week, and even next month. We’ve got to be intentional about coming back strong, armed and ready to meet and defeat any obstacle that stands to get in our way.
Acknowledge what you may need to do differently
We are not perfect. *Gasp! We all make mistakes and poor choices. That’s all part of this life we’re living that I mentioned above. But it's all part of growing and getting better, bouncing back even.
Once you’ve learned a lesson or found the error in your ways, action may need to be taken on your part. This might include switching up your usual mode of operation, apologizing to someone, retraining yourself on a particular topic, or even just holding yourself accountable for your own private thoughts. Lay it all on the line, but at the same time don’t be too hard on yourself. Show yourself some grace throughout this process. Challenging situations can often teach us what we have left to learn.
Take care of yourself
Take your time and take care of yourself. There’s no rush in healing and regrouping. I mean we do want to come back stronger, right? Read and reread motivational, inspirational, or encouraging words from others. Earlier, I mentioned prayer because it has most definitely helped me through some of the most difficult trials of my life. However, I also know the importance of reading biographies, and certainly autobiographies, of those who have been there, done that…. specifically meaning that they may have experienced adversity and difficult times, but they are willing share their ways of overcoming.
Other ideas include getting outdoors, getting moving, and in turn, getting inspired. Wake up early to catch the sunrise with a brisk walk. Listen to the birds chirp to be reminded of the beauty that surrounds us. Complete a workout to sweat out any worries and get your heart pumping with anticipation of the change to come.
If I can leave you with anything, it’s to remember that difficult roads lead to beautiful destination. Be optimistic about your bounce back, your outcome could be something new and more exciting than you ever even imagined possible for yourself.
5 Health & Wellness Tips For The Fall Season
As we head into the final three months of 2021, take advantage of the seasonal changes to focus on making positive and healthy changes in your own life!
It’s that glorious time of the year, Fall! The time of the year known for pumpkin-spice treats and beautifully colored falling leaves. And while the days may be shorter, the weather is also milder. What a wonderful opportunity for each of us to take note of our own position in this space and focus on finishing the year out strong.
As we head into the final three months of 2021, take advantage of the seasonal changes to focus on making positive and healthy changes in your own life!
Here are a few tips to help you stay focused on your health & wellness this season:
Set goals & intentions:
Decide what you want to accomplish over the next few months. Be specific. In fact, create SMART goals. What is a SMART goal, you might ask. Well, it is one that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. For example: As opposed to saying “I want to run a 5k sometime soon”, a SMART goal would say “I plan on completing the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot 5k in November, and will prepare by training 3 days per week until then”.
Write your goals down. Make sure they are visible, not tucked away in a drawer. The more accessible they are, the more they will serve as a reminder for what needs to be done and when it needs to be done.
Get the family involved:
With the weather cooling down, outdoor activities become more bearable for the entire family. This season presents so many opportunities to take advantage of this change… think pumpkin patches, community charity/holiday races, state fairs, and even local parks and state forests. All of this outdoor activity will give you (and the family) the opportunity to take in some fresh air, Vitamin D, get your muscles moving, and not to mention, it can do wonders for your mental health & wellness.
Be mindful of nutrition choices:
As I mentioned above, the fall season also brings tons of sweet treats and drinks. Pumpkin-spiced this… caramel-flavored that…. you know, the really tasty, tempting, hard-to-resist holiday goodies. Now, I’m not suggesting that you avoid them completely, because I’m definitely not. I’m simply reminding you to be mindful. These last three months of the year include holidays that focus heavily on candies, pies, cakes, cocktails, and more. Enjoy yourself, but do not undo all of the progress you have made, thus far. If you do find yourself enjoying those seasonal goodies a little too much one day, just refocus and start again the next day. Don’t make it a situation that lasts throughout the end of the year, causing you to settle on the idea of waiting on a fresh start in 2022. Don’t wait! Be intentional right now, so that 2022 is just a continuation of the healthy lifestyle you have already established this year!
Renew commitment to self-care:
As 2021 has progressed, you may have found yourself taking care of others more than yourself. It happens, it’s normal. But, use this changing of the seasons to renew your commitment to yourself and get back on track. A few ideas might include:
Establish daily or weekly quiet time for devotion, prayer, or meditation
Continue or begin writing in a journal
Treat yourself to a massage or another spa service
Choose a new book to read or pick up the one collecting dust on your nightstand
Try a new class… think cooking, painting, cookie decorating, or even learning to play an instrument
Whatever you decide, just make sure that it’s for you.. your choice, on your schedule, and as often as you deem necessary.
Be realistic, be patient, & stay consistent:
Hopefully, you followed the guidelines listed above and created SMART goals for yourself. With those goals always top of mind, remember to be realistic. This time of the year has to potential to be very enjoyable, don’t let happiness get lost by being too hard-nosed when it comes to your goals. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. Do not get caught up with strict diets or overworking yourself with exercise. Instead, focus on making changes (or adjustments) that aid in creating lifestyle changes and lifetime habits. We’re on this journey for the long-haul, y’all! Your consistency will reap positive, productive, and measurable rewards.
